Best Friends For Now
by PeaceKlaineLove
Summary: A collection of one-shots detailing the relationship with Spencer's best friend. Will they ever grow into something more? :


" Misses smarty britches to Junior G man. Junior G man come in."

" Uh Sam? What are you doing? You _Do _know that you're standing right next to me. Don't you?" She looked up at him, still in her crouched position. She rolled her eyes and hissed.

"Comrade! Our cover is now blown. I hope you're happy ." She stood up and pouted. He sighed and looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I was just inquiring as to why you're dressed in black, holding a walky-talky, and moving around like some cliched character in a spy movie." She put one hand on his shoulder, looked deep into his eyes, and said.

"It's simple. We are going to get you a date for the City's ball. No, not even that. We're here to immerse you in the topic of operating with the opposite sex. _Then_ we'll find you a date to the ball." She smiled to herself. Pleased. Spencer broke out in a sweat. A blush steadily rose on his cheeks until he resembled a fire engine.

"Uh. Th-thanks. But I-I'm f-f-f-fine." A nervous chuckle escaped to his mouth. Sam acknowledged it as a cry for help.

"Not that I have any more experience than you, but when is the last time you actually _talked_ to a girl. _That wasn't related to work_." She quickly added the last statement as she saw his mind turning to find a loophole. With a defeated sigh he nodded to her. Seeing the defeated look on his face she slapped him on the back.

"Cheer up buddy. I give you permission to set me up with somebody for a dance at the ball if this doesn't work out." She snickered to herself. _Ha. Even if this doesn't help, he's too shy to set me up anyway. MwaHahahahahahaha._ She grabbed his arm and turned him around.

"Where are we going? I thought you were going to help. But if you've given up already, I don't blame you." She scoffed and assured him.

"Sam _has __**not **__and __**will not**__ ever give up on her mission. She's made a promise to herself and Is sticking to it._ You're simply heading back to her place to brief you on the key points. Now, come along young grasshopper. The master has much to teach you. Any questions?" She looked over at him. Eyes dancing in amusement for the first time in minutes he spoke with his eyebrow raised.

"Just one.......Why, pray tell, are you referring to yourself in third person?" With that, he burst out in laughter. She tapped her foot impatiently. Scowling, she added menacingly,

"I hope it was worth it......Any chance of mercy you had with me is _long gone._" She turned on her heel and stalked off. _Dang. I am dead_. Spencer crept forward to meet his fate.

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"Ok. So we've covered the walk, the talk,and the conversation starter. Now to the look." They had been in Sam's apartment for an hour now. Spence's look of panic had quickly faded into boredom. She had set up a blackboard and wrote everything down so he'd remember, but she still felt the need to over explain _everything_. He was bad, but he was pretty sure he already knew to check his breath before talking to anyone.

"Ok......Make sure you're polished if you're trying to make an impression on someone. Although if someones shallow enough to not be willing to overlook your appearance, then they can go to he--. I definitely won't make you change your clothes. You should be yourself. The right girl will overlook it. I personally think you've got the whole college professor/ coffeehouse poet thing going on." _Anything else? Going to tell me how to button my shirt too?_ But Spence held his tongue. His friend only wanted to help him after all.

"Thanks Sam. Good to know.......Well would you look at that. 2 in the afternoon. I better get going. Star Trek is coming on at 8 and I have to make sure I have enough time to turn the T.V. on, sit down in the chair, get a blanket, and fix a nice pot of coffee." Sam just sighed and stared at him,

"In what universe does it take six hours to do all that? Huh? And besides, tonight's episode isn't that great. It's only the one where the people pass through the force field thingie and the one lady's forced to decide if she should mate or not because the radiation is killing her reproductive system. Not a big deal at all." She shrugged.

" The girl looked like she was 12... which totally makes it seem like it approves pre teen pregnancy. The baby would _Not_ have been healthy, because the girl was like dying from the inside out so she wouldn't have been able to carry it to term anyway.

And the "_man" _that she was in **love** with and wanted to mate, looked like some weird monkey-chimpanzee hybrid. Pretty freakin' ugly if you ask me." Spencer looked outraged.

"That force field _thingie _was the cosmic matter left over from the klingons' battle with the talosians. She is _not _being killed from the inside out. The sickness is killing her reproductive system by rapidly speeding it up, therefore the baby _would _come full term. Lastly, the hybrid was a monkzee, a rather intelligent man who assisted the doctor in his experiments. Also, the girl in question is _25_!"

He stood there indigent. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. Spencer just had to join in.

" Ok..Ok.. I don't have to leave for a while." He was doubled over and breathless. Her face was twisted with a smirk, and she had a superior look on her features.

"Knew you'd see it my way. Come on, we're leaving."

"Where are we going?"

" To the place we stop for coffee and breakfast every morning. 'Cavanaugh's' " His face wore a look of utter hopelessness. Sam linked her arm through Spencer's and skipped toward the door.

" We're off to help Spencer, help Spencer to ge-et a date. Yay." (Sung in the tune of "We're off to see the wizard." If you don't know which movie I just referenced, there's no hope for you. Lol)

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